Dear Children, I Am Not Your Damn Maid

posted in: Parent Talk | 10

I had a moment today where I just had to give myself a pat on the back (figuratively, I didn’t actually pat my back, that would be weird). It was one of those moments where I had approximately 5 seconds to myself before children and life started pouncing on me. It was during that exact moment that I realized I’m doing just fine. I’m a good mother. My kids are happy, healthy and generally well behaved. All of this is 100% true and it is because of one simple strategy.


I refuse to be my children’s maid. I am their mother first and foremost.  I am not their friend nor their enemy (although I’m sure they think I am at times).


I gave myself that pat on the back because I realized that my children are becoming amazing little humans because their father and I do not do every single thing for them.


We have taught them that they need to help. They need to help around the house, they need to help each other, they need to help others and they need to help us.


They have chores. They may be simple but they are still chores. They teach them to be independent and to pitch in where help is needed.


It teaches them responsibility and respect and that mommy and daddy should will not and should not ever have to follow them around the house picking up everything in their wake.


It’s exhausting to pick up after children and it’s  come to the point where I’ve decided they can pick up their own damn messes because I’m not their damn maid!


Please don’t take this out of context. I do big things for them, I help them in areas where they are too little to take on the responsibility. Our children are not little slaves. They arent out cleaning the gutters but they can fold their own damn clothes and clean their own damn rooms!


It’s important! EXTREMELY important! That kids have boundaries, rules and responsibilities. I refuse to raise children who think they are entitled to the world just because they were born into it. That’s not how life work!


If we do not teach our children a little work ethic we are going to end up with a society of bad mannered, irresponsible, oversensitive, and down right patheticly lazy future adults.


These little humans we are all raising are going to control this world someday! Think about that! Think about what we will be releasing into society someday! Our children are products of how they are raised! Raise them well and give them morals, responsibility and the drive to be good, hardworking people!


So again, I pat myself on the back. My refusal to be my children’s maid will pay off when it comes time to let them go out into this world alone. They will be able to do many things, like fold clothes, sweep floors, cook pasta. I realize that those are small things compared ti what life will eventually bring but for a 6 and 3 year old they are a big deal.


That moment when mommy said clean your own toilet will forever be burned into my child’s brain (and the look of pure disgust and shock he gave me will forever be burned into mine 😜). But that moment will also go down in history as the moment he realized he could no longer aimlessly pee all over the seat and expect me to clean it up. It will forever be the moment that he realized he needs to help and take responsibility for the messes he creates.


I hope all of my children grow up to be the best adults they can possibly be. I hope they learn from their mistakes and take the right actions to fix any wrongs they might cause. I hope they learn that life is hard work and nobody should ever have to do anything for them. That they are not entitled to anything and if they want something they need to put in the work to get it.


Good things come from hard work and the sooner they realize others are not put on this earth to clean up their messes, the better.


I hope they grow up happy, healthy and live long, amazing lives. I hope they take on this world with confidence and the ability to make the right decisions. I hope everything we try to teach them now, follows them into the future with every decision they make.


So to all you mommy’s and daddy’s out their who refuse to be your childrens maids, give yourselves a pat on the back too! You are all doing an amazing job!

My Name 2


10 Responses

  1. Darlene Dee

    Yes! My mother was not our maid and I grew into a self reliant adult. I need the reminder though, because I catch myself cleaning up after everyone so much more now that I’ve become a SAHM.

    • Kylie

      I agree, I catch myself doing that sometimes too. I fight my 3 year old tooth and nail to fold his clothes after I wash them and the only thing preventing me from just folding them myself is the fact that I’ve fought him too much to back down lol.
      Thanks for reading!

  2. Elizabeth Brooks

    This is so true. I tell my kids this all the time… I’m not sure they understand yet, rotf. But we are headed in the right direction….

  3. Laina Turner

    Totally agree. My kids are now 10 and 14 an do their own laundry, wake themselves up for school (obviously I’m home…it’s the point), and do many other things. Things I’d even like to do for them but know I shouldn’t.

  4. Kaitie Creator of Fuchisa Freezer

    I couldn’t agree more. Our kids have simple chores as well that are done almost daily along with just simple things that they should do… i.e. set the table. It’s not a chore. Its a task that needs to be done because we are going to eat at the table, and I’m getting plates ready for everyone to eat. A chore they may have is : it’s friday – dust your room. Not a daily task. I can’t believe how many of their peers do NADA and their parents are always in awe that my kids help out. It’s second nature to them because it’s been engrained in them since they were tiny little beings. But by doing the ‘helping set the table’ and ‘cleaning up the dishes (put on the counter for me to wash which is OK because they are only 5 & 6 years old)’ things, it results in Mommy and Daddy not being hot stressed out messes from picking up after everyone… which means “Sure we can go outside after supper and kick the soccer ball around” happens a lot more. a Family Unit is a UNIT. Everyone is responsible in their own way for keeping the unit floating! 🙂 Loved your post!

    • Kylie

      Thank you so much hun! I’m so happy others feel the same way, it gives me hope for the future 🙂

  5. Carmen Nichole

    Right! I’m going to teach my son the same thing as he grows up! It’s just me, him, and my mom, so we can’t keep up with all of the things that need to be done around the house. As soon as I can, he’s going to learn that he picks up his toys and all that stuff. He’s 19 months old now, so there’s still a little time, but I can already see that he’s going to be a good helper. He picks up bits of trash and gives it to me and I show him that it goes in the trash can (then he tries to take it back out! ick). When he sees me or my mom picking up toys he helps too, for about 2 minutes, then he’s pulling them out again! But he has to start somewhere! lol Love this post and yes, you are a good mom! 🙂

    • Kylie

      Thanks hun! You’re an amazing mom as well! Your son is very lucky!

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