His Disappointment or Mine?

posted in: Parent Talk | 3

We had been waiting for months for the local BMX track to open its gates. Our little man wanted to ride his bike on it so bad and because I now have to live vicariously through my children, I was equally excited.

I pictured him being so stoked once he rode the track. It would obviously lead to great things in his future and he would become a famous BMX rider because he finally got to practice.

Isn’t that how most of our dreams for our children start out? We tell ourselves that they will be the best and fall in love with the sport, or the instrument or whatever it is we see them doing. It’s sort of a punch in the gut when that doesn’t happen.

He got on his little bike and strapped on his helmet and with the heart of a racehorse he took off down the ramp. He had fun, he raced around by himself for 4 or 5 laps and then stopped, told us his right leg was sore because it was hard work, and said “can I go ride my scooter at the skate park”…

My heart sank a little. I asked him if he wanted us to sign him up for the bike races in May. He said NO!

What the heck child? Don’t you realize I need you to want this!

He enjoyed riding and he had fun, but it wasn’t one of those out of this world moments for him where he realized his dream from one look at a track. To him it was tiring and at the age of six it doesn’t make much sense that sometimes fun activities are hard work.

He still wants to ride and hopefully by the time May rolls around we can sign him up knowing he wants to participate in a race.

I guess that’s a decent way to describe parenting, trial and error. We’ll keep putting him in things and he’ll keep telling us yes or no. I’m sure those yes’ and no’s will bounce back and force throughput the years and what he thought he loved he’ll learn he hates and what he used to hate he will learn he loves.

I wasn’t prepared though, for how I felt when he didn’t immediately jump for joy at the thought of competing in a certain sport.

Was it  him or I that was more disappointed in the outcome? He went in extremely excited and left mildly amused. I went in extremely excited for him and left downright sad at his mild amusement.

I would never tell him that. I’m so proud of him for even attempting something that I myself am too scared to try. But I’m sad too. I loved watching him, probably because it was something I wish I could do or had done in my life.

To realize your children might not be into the things you want them to be into is a little heartbreaking. It was definitely a feeling that I hadn’t encountered yet in my parenting journey; I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’m very glad he tried though and that’s really all that matters.

He is going to have his own dreams and although they may change a million times and most likely not be what I imagined, I will always be proud of him! He is amazing and no matter what he chooses in life I’m sure he will succeed in wonderful ways!

But about that skate park…he’s pretty darn good on a scooter if I do say so myself!

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3 Responses

  1. Lois

    Where were your son’s friends when he was biking? Doesn’t enthusiasm come with excitement and camaraderie? Most of the time we have to do things more than once to see if we like it. That’s why 6-week classes are good for kids. Just sayin’. – Lois @ http://www.recipeideashop.com

  2. smd d

    You never know, he may love it. I grew up playing everything, riding bikes and motorcycles also. i was the biggest baby though, but, at age 8 i told my dad i wanted to race dirt bikes, he went and bought me one( after riding for a couple years), at 12 years old i raced, god addicted and to this day (43) still race off road dirt bikes off and on.

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