You Know You’re A Mom When…

posted in: Parent Talk | 10
What does it mean to be a mom?
That question can be answered in so many ways. We tend to focus a lot on all the negatives but I wanted to try to spin that and post some funny thoughts about what it is like to really be a mom.
I wanted to find out what other moms go through while raising their children but I wanted it to be positive and upbeat. So I asked this question and I got some pretty hilarious answers. These are all from real moms going through real life and just trying to make it out alive…because by the end of the day, all that really matters is that you children also made it out alive.
So here it is, the question you’ve all been dying to find out the answer to.
You know you are a mom when?
  • “When your punishment arsenal consists of unfulfilled threats” – Kylie
  • “When you sound like you have turrets while talking on the phone. One minute you’re discussing your day and the next your screaming “don’t lick that” at a toddler.” – Kylie
  • “When sniffing a butt is completely acceptable and sometimes necessary!” – Nichole
  • “When your fantasies are about sleeping!” – Valerie
  • “When another person’s feces/poop/diarrhea/shit gets all over you and it doesn’t even phase you!” – Emily
  • “When you catch your child’s vomit in your hands!” – Erin
  • “When you hear your baby cry or make even the smallest sounds from their bedroom!” – Kim
  • “When you hide in the corner of the kitchen, facing the wall, in order to eat a cookie!” – Teresa
  • “When a chewed up, funky looking piece of food is put in your mouth and you eat it without even flinching and say how yummy it is!”Karen
  • “When your priorities are no longer the Friday girls night outs, shopping sprees or unlimited vacation, rather your husband’s uniform and food, and the children’s educational plan. You become a mom when you simply lose yourself and your family becomes your priority.” – April
  • “When you can’t be mad that you are awake at the Crack of dawn because your baby girl is laying there smiling at you adoringly.” – Jessica
  • “When you stay up late just to eat sweets in piece.” – Colleen
  • “When you pull a piece of Lego, a half eaten donut wrapped in tissue, a box of plasters, children’s sunscreen, and a random stick your 8-year-old found at the park and HAD to take home, because it looked sad and lonely; out of your handbag, while looking for a pen during a work meeting.” – Caroline
  • “When your baby pulls aaaalllll the tissue out of the box, takes every book off the shelf, and smears food in her hair and you still find it funny and adorable.” – Lauren
  • “When the kids all went to bed and you are still watching Daniel Tiger on tv.” – Lydia
  • “When your brand new trousers come in the mail, and are promptly covered in sick 5 minutes after trying them on.” – Hanna
  • “When going to the grocery store is your alone time!” – Kelly
  • “When you sit up late with your kids’ to help them with their science project that is due the next day, and you do not yawn even once!” – Anita
  • “When you have perfected the art of opening a candy bar/cookie package in complete silence.” – Jennifer
  • “When The Wheels on the Bus or Twinkle Little Star are always stuck in your head on repeat.” – Kimberly
  • “When playing hide and seek is all about finding 5 minutes of “me time” and just a wee bit o’ quiet.” – Lana
  • “When you realize you are so tired that you begin talking to your son in the car even though he just got out of the car when you dropped off at school and your other son reminds you quietly that he is no longer in the car..(this actually did happen to me the other day – i am now v worried about my sanity and lack of sleep)!!” – Lucy
  • “When silence is suspicious and a shower becomes a privilege.” – Courtney
  • “When going to the bathroom means you have an audience.” – Kacey
  • “When asking about or commenting on someone else’s poop is a part of everyday life!” – Inez
  • “When you give your toddler the last bite of your ice cream even though you really (REALLY) want it.”Amber
  • “When no matter where you are you cut your meal into bite sized pieces before eating it.” – Bridget
  • “When YOUR “potty time” is your fantasy island escape! Until you hear tiny fingers turning the door knob.” – Terri
  • “When going shopping by yourself is a bloody vacation!!!” – Jolie
  • “When driving to work is your quiet time and when you do get home you spend a few minutes being as quiet as possible so they don’t know you are home yet. As soon as they find you, it’s homework and dinner, quiet time is over!” – Gloria
  • “You know you’re a (dog) mom when you hear the tiniest of sounds and suddenly know EXACTLY what naughty things your fur-babies are up to… smile emoticon (Dog moms count, too, right?” – Mikaela
As you can see, the mom struggle truly is real…graphically real, like vomit and poop real!
So to all of you out there expecting your first, trying for your first, adopting your first, thinking about your first, considering your first, convincing your other half that you should have a first, etc, etc…; read this carefully because parent life is an emotionally messy adventure filled with puking and pooping and laughing and crying. It’s amazingly chaotic…but mostly amazing (who am I kidding, I have 3 kids under the age of 6, it’s mostly chaotic…but in the most amazing way)!


10 Responses

  1. Allison

    This is soooo funny! I love it! especially the empty threats and catching puke in your hands. That’s terrible, but I guess mom life right?? Hahaha!

    • Kylie

      It definitely would be boring Thanks for stopping by and checking out my blog!

  2. bgeiger

    When you say things that should never have to be said, like “don’t put duct tape down your pants. It won’t end well.”

    • Kylie

      That is so true! My husband and I laugh all the time at some of things we say to our kids because they are things we would never say otherwise!

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